Page 4 WARNING, SOME OF THE JOKES ON THE FOLLOWING PAGES MAY CONTAIN COLOURFUL LANGUAGE, AND BE A BIT "CHUBBY BROWNISH" . PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. (I just pinch them from other sites, I don't make them up) Lots of jokes again this week. Eventually I want a page of jokes for every British team, so come on help me out. If you send me them I promise to put them on whomever's joke page that you want them on and not change them all to Sunderland jokes.   Updated 15/05/   Updated 15/05/99   Updated 15/05/   Updated 30/05/99 Updated 16/03/99 Man City   Updated 15/05/99  Notts Forest Updated 28/03/99 Sheff Utd Updated 10/04/99 Everton   Updated 15/05/99 Spurs   Updated 15/05/99 West ham Updated 16/03/99 Middlesbourgh   Updated 15/05/99 Leeds United Updated 16/03/99 Sheff Wed Updated 10/04/99 International Updated 16/03/99 Charlton Athletic Updated 21/03/99 Blackburn Rovers   Updated 15/05/99 Derby Co Updated 21/03/99 Aston Villa   Updated 15/05/99 Southampton Updated 21/03/99 Port Vale Updated 06/3/99 Stoke City Updated 11/04/99 Chelsea   Updated 15/05/ Coventry Updated 16/03/99 Wimbledon   Updated 15/05/99 Non Footy Jokes Updated 30/05/99 Alan Hansen, Andy Gray and Des Lynam all die and go up to heaven. They all arrive at the Pearly Gates at the same time, and are met by God, sitting upon a huge gilded thrown. God says "You all have to be able to justify yourselves before I'll allow you into the Kingdom of Heaven". Alan Hansen steps up and says "I think that the trials of football are a metaphor for life. You must struggle to co-operate with your fellow man, whilst trying to defeat your foes in a fair and just manner". God says "Very well, you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven" and Alan Hansen walks in. Andy Gray steps up next and says"I also believe that football mirrors life. You must always persevere, even though the odds are stacked against you, for only through tenacity may we overcome insurmountable odds". God says "Very well, you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven" and Andy Gray walks in. Finally Des Lynam steps up and says "I think you're sitting in my seat". The Small print......, If you are reading this then you must be very sad and have extremely good eyesight. I certainly can't read it. The-scum is best viewed using netscape Communicator v 4.5, with your screen resolution set at 800x 600 . All Items, ideas on these pages © the-scum team UK© All Rights Reserved. You can't steal anything off us, we will get very cross if you do and send the "boys" round to sort you out. Everyone logging onto this site will have there IP number automatically recorded, so we will have proof that you have been here, we're not stupid, well I am but the other lads aren't The Scum-team consists of Rik, the one that does all the work, Bobby, the one with all the funny stories , Stu , who makes us laugh, and Eddy who makes it look really nice, with contributions from our friends around the globe such as Jonno, Barney, Softie, Dr Bill and loads of other guys who send us jokes. Feel free to link to this site and we will do the same back for your site (IF, It's good and funny ). If you want to advertise on here. MAKE US AN OFFER. Mail scumteam@riks.globalnet.co.uk If you want to complain then contact Bobby, as he likes a bit of hassle. All graphics are designed by Eddy Suryadi , if you want your own custom graphics (he is very reasonable) then contact him . deco@dnet.net.id.